They simply don’t understand why a relationship can go from sexually intimate to non sexual
Kjell So very sad for you that your own personal experience is so unpleasant. Most men here have said nothing about having an affair or running off with someone else. I accept it must be difficult to feel sex is expected. In most cases here that couldn’t be further from the truth. Men that love and adore their wives/partners do not want to make them unhappy, feel guilty or shutdown. Women aren’t the only one made to feel guilty for their emotions or feelings, xpressions of frustration, confusion. They are looking for answers bcause it matters and in most cases here because the partner has shut them out.
They are willing and most likely never stopped the shopping or anything else. It’s not only women who get tired because of work, family commitments, body changes. Yes there are differences with male and female but why use low libido as an excuse to shut your partner out. I have worked high pressure jobs, long hours, always taking time to be with the children, suggesting partner take some time to herself, happy to cook, leave special messages, arrange pleasant outings for her with friends while l look after the kids. Never forget an anniversary, birthday, write regularly, do house work, special moments etc etc, none being about sex it’s about being in love. I was a home Dad from boy 5 girl 2 till they left home.
I never turned away from my wife, got assistance from Drs Councellors etc. When it comes to talking to try and sort something out as you sarcastically put it. Nothing. Silence. Even the Councellor decided the women’s side was more important. In 2 years, 1 apt on my own, 1 apt together next 18 months l am left in the dark. At the end of it even after asking to come in and be involved ton der stand what’s gong on, nothing. Fair enough, you can’t force someone to have sex, and you shouldn’t expect it, then all is being asked is to remember there are 2 people in the relationship, 2 not just the male and not just the female, so why does she get her way and the male has to sit back and put up with “l love you, l want you to do everything, be everything, still desire me, shower me with love and affection BUT don’t touch me and don’t talk about sex or our relationship could be at risk.
I worked, cooked, housework, cared for my parents till they both died, lost a brother, got cancer, major surgery, cared for my wife while she went through cancer, never mentioning sex for 2 years
I think that is unreasonable. I know all negative things that happen to me impact on my partner, just as it does on me and vice versa. When someone is searching for happiness, fun, love, friendship and they find it, have it why is unreasonable to desire physical contact, sex, love with the one the only one you desire, the only one you want to share life with? Enough is enough. Once again l do empathise with you none the less your aggression would be mirroring exactly what you are complaining of. Not all men are unreasonable, they are generally caring, thoughtful and want to enjoy and share that enjoyment, they want to see their partners happy and feeling respected, strong and willing to share that partnership.